


careless

by Ovidila



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-01-29 23:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12641868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ovidila/pseuds/Ovidila
Summary: Twice Hanzo had watched as Jesse let a gun be pointed at him without so much as raising his own. He watched once as he stepped off the ledge while distracted and another when he was pushed off. He had watched him die 4 times and each time was worse than the last.





	1. black and white

**Author's Note:**

> first chapter is always the scariest to write eheh! please enjoy!
> 
> also this has a slight timeline change! nothing major and nothing that will especially affect the plot or anything. here hanzo is apart of blackwatch pre all the shit that happens with explosions and dead commanders

Jesse could swear as he fell from his perch that he was flying… if his version of flying was an uncontrolled descent into possible concrete or maybe even the jaws of an alligator. If he was being perfectly honest, he hadn’t really gotten a good look of where he would fall if he had lost his footing.

One second.

Then two.

Then came the hard rush of the ground against his back.

“Do you plan to lay there  _ all day _ , cowboy?” 

The voice was a sneer as he opened his eyes, staring up into dark ones. He heard a voice come over the speakers saying that the simulation was over, that one of the agents had died-- that agent was him, after all. With a groan, he sat up and shook his head to clear it.

“Well?” Came the voice again, annoyance sharpening the single word into a dagger. 

Jesse rolled his eyes as he stood. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t gotta get all over my case, Hanzo. Not everyone can be as perfect as you,” He grabbed his gun off the ground and stalked out of the room, leaving the archer behind to stew in his anger. To be frank, he hadn’t expected to hear quick footsteps following him from the room. 

“Perhaps I should ‘get all over your case’. This is the fourth time this week that you’ve died in simulation and the second time that it is because of you falling,” Hanzo took a breath. “I don’t know what is wrong with you, but if we’re to be partners on this next mission then you had better get your act together. I don’t have time to baby you if you get shot or fall in reality.”

Jesse came to a stop but Hanzo kept walking through the corridor. “Simply something to think about, McCree.” 

As he was left to only his thoughts, a certain anger began to well up inside of him and before he had time to think through his actions, his fist was connecting with the wall beside him and he was panting. Somewhere in his mind, he knew that Hanzo was right. Just because they were partners didn’t mean he had to babysit him when things when to shit. 

As his rage settled some, he stalked back to his room and left the lights off as he entered. It was then that he found himself unable to keep his thoughts quiet... Everything about this upcoming mission was stuff he had tried to leave in the past. He threw his hand over to the bedside table, searching around until he grabbed hold of a thin folder. 

It was difficult to see in the dark, but he could make out the words that were etched in the folder: “CLASSIFIED”. Technically, he wasn’t allowed to take the mission briefings from Commander Reyes’ office, but he was able to sneak it out without much problem. His eyes quickly scanned over the piece of paper that was inside of the folder.

* * *

 

_ ‘7/23/XX _

_ CLASSIFIED. DO NOT TAKE THESE MATERIALS OUT OF THEIR SECURE LOCATION. _

**_DEADLOCK_ **

 

_ WEAPON SHIPMENT INTERCEPTED COMING FROM NEW MEXICO. INTEL HAS TOLD OVERWATCH THAT “POSSIBLE DEADLOCK INSIGNIA FOUND ON SHIPPING CRATE”. WEAPONS FOUND WERE VARIOUS GUNS AND AMMUNITION ALONGSIDE DRUGS AND OTHER NARCOTICS. DEADLOCK HAS BEEN PRESUMED DESTROYED FOLLOWING A BUST 8 YEARS AGO. INTEL HAS TOLD OVERWATCH THAT “DEADLOCK HAS A NEW LEADER AND HAS BEGUN THEIR ROUNDS AGAIN IN AN ATTEMPT TO BUILD THE GANG FROM THE GROUND UP”. NO LEADS HAVE BEEN GIVEN TO ANYONE CURRENTLY INVOLVED IN DEADLOCK. _

_ WITH THE INTEL GIVEN TO OVERWATCH, AGENTS ARE TO EITHER GATHER MORE INTEL FOR FUTURE MISSIONS OR TO COMPLETELY DISBAND THE REMAINING MEMBERS OF DEADLOCK. THE CHOICE WILL COME DOWN TO COMMANDER GABRIEL REYES. _

_ AGENTS ARE TO GO UNDERCOVER AS ESCAPED INMATES AND TRY TO GAIN THE TRUST OF DEADLOCK IN AN EFFORT TO BOTH JOIN THEIR RANKS AND GAIN INFORMATION. ALISES WILL BE DECIDED BY BOTH AGENTS AND COMMANDER GABRIEL REYES.   _

_ MISSION TO INCLUDE:  _

_ JESSE MCCREE: FORMERLY IN DEADLOCK AND RESIDENT OF NEW MEXICO. KNOWS THE TERRAIN AND THE LOCALS. HAS SHOWN A VERY GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF UNDERCOVER MISSIONS IN THE PAST.  _

_ HANZO SHIMADA: FOUND TO DO WELL IN UNDERCOVER MISSIONS. FOUND TO WORK WELL WITH AGENT MCCREE IN THE FIELD. ABLE TO BE STEALTHY, QUICK, AND DISCREET. ‘ _

* * *

 

Deadlock again. To think that he thought he saw the last of them when he saw most of them being led away to prison. Luckily for him, he hasn’t been allowed much in the public eye when it came down to cameras and congratulations. After all, he was still supposed to be in prison and neither Reyes or Morrison had the time to deal with any backlash that may come up because people figured out that a former member of Deadlock was playing soldier. 

Somewhere along his moping, he heard his communicator go off and he reached over to tab at the screen. It was a message… “Don’t think I’mma make it out of this in one piece.” Jesse said with a sigh as he stood up. 

_ ‘New message: Gabriel Reyes _

_ Meet me in my office. Now.’ _

He knew better than anyone how terrifying Blackwatch’s commander could be, and he knew that their chat wasn’t going to be a very pleasant one. He stood up and walked out of his room, making sure to lock it behind him before he started down the hall to Reyes’ office. 

When he got there, he took a deep breath and knocked twice on the door. “Come in.” Was the very curt reply he got in return. Opening the door, his eyes quickly fell on Hanzo who was standing off to the side with a very neutral expression on his face. 

“So… seems like a funeral in here. Someone kick the bucket?” Jesse said with his usual smooth drawl. 

Reyes seemed less than pleased as he stood up from his desk. “Hanzo told me about all your deaths in the simulations.”

He couldn’t help himself as he turned his head to face off with the man in question. God, he hated how Hanzo wouldn’t even look him in the eye. He swears he could just punch him right in the fa--

“McCree. He has told me that you’ve been very distracted lately and not only have you been shot twice by the simulation, but you’ve fallen twice too.” Reyes’ voice started to boom with anger. “I put you on this mission because I thought you would be useful, but if your only use is going to be getting your brains shot out then I’m going to have to pull you from this mission and order mandatory training.”

“Wait what?! Commander, y’can’t do this t’me!” His accent started to get thicker as he became more distressed, but that hardly stopped him. “Y’know me, Commander. I won’t mess this up, promise.” He sounded like a child and he knew it, but he needed to go on this mission even if he dreaded it. 

There was silence for a second before Hanzo was the one to finally speak up. “I need more than a promise, McCree. As much as you are annoying and a nuisance, it would not do me well to lose my partner on an undercover mission.”

Spinning around to fully face Hanzo, his eyes narrowed into a glare. “I ain’t gonna be a nuisance. I’ll do my job ‘nd you’ll get home in one piece.” Jesse’s voice was strained as he tried not to add anything more that he would lead him to get kicked from the mission. Turning back to Commander Reyes, he spoke up once more. “Is that all?”

Gabriel heaved a sigh as he nodded and with that, Jesse turned and left the room followed closely by Hanzo. When he didn’t turn to meet him, he felt a hand grab his wrist. “McCree, wait.” He almost sounded concerned for him, but perhaps that was just to get him to stop walking and turn around, because when he stared at him all he saw was anger. 

Before Hanzo got a chance to speak up, Jesse decided to fill the silence for him. “Can you leave me alone? I ain’t got time for this.”

“No, I don’t think you yet understand what your poor performance could mean for the both of us.”

Jesse let out a scoff, shaking the other man’s hand off of him. “‘ _ Both of us’ _ ? Don’t make it sound like you’re looking out for me, ‘cause I know better than that. I know you’re just looking out for yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I get it. We’re all out here just looking to save our own hides, but at least don’t make it sound like you’re looking out for me when you’re clearly not. Now if you’ll leave me alone…” 

“You fell twice.” Hanzo responded quietly. “You got shot twice.” 

“Your point?”

“Each time you simply let it happen. McCree, I watched as you let a gun be pointed at you without so much as raising your own. Twice. I watched once as you stepped off the ledge while distracted and another when you were pushed off.” 

Jesse’s voice rose to a shout. “Why does it matter to you so much what I do?!”

“Perhaps because we’re going to be partners… or maybe I consider you as a friend. I’ve saved your ass more times than I care to count and yet you seem to think I’m out to get you. If I truly didn’t care for you as you claim then I would have let you die in Switzerland or in Montana. But please, play the child all you want. I’ve had enough of you.”

Hanzo didn’t dare give him a chance to answer as he shoved by Jesse, leaving him with his mouth open in shock as he tried to think over what had just happen. Running a hand through his hair, he couldn’t help release the breath he hadn’t noticed he had been holding in. Something inside of him screamed that he had fucked up, but he refused to listen as he turned in the opposite direction and started back to his room to drink until the sun came up. 


	2. and I remember everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drinking, guns, nightmares
> 
> there's slight mention of vomiting but very slight

It wasn’t exactly allowed for alcohol to be on base, but it wasn’t a rule that was especially enforced. People had beer in their rooms and occasionally you could find an empty bottle of wine in the trash. Jesse wasn’t immune to this either. He had his own share of beer stockpiled in his room for a rainy day ( or for everyday ). Rules were meant to be broken after all.

He couldn’t remember at what point did he be become blackout drunk, but it was somewhere in between the fourth and fifth beer. As he began to down the fated fifth beer, he found himself completely tearing apart his room. He grabbed clothes from his dresser and threw them on the floor. His hands found themselves on the side of a coffee table, throwing it onto its side. He even grabbed some of Peacekeeper’s bullets and threw them across the floor.

No matter what he did, even in all his drunk glory, his thoughts found themselves back to Hanzo. “Fuckin’ idiot. He doesn’t know a thing ‘bout me ‘nd he’s sayin’ all these things to Reyes,” He said loudly enough where he was sure whoever roomed beside him would hear his muffled shouts. “I don’t need him. I could do the mission all by myself… then he’d see.” 

His sheets were then thrown from his bed, landing on both the floor and hanging somewhat off his dresser that now sat empty. Crawling onto the bed, he turned himself onto his side and eyed Peacekeeper. “Yer all I need…,” Jesse murmured to himself as his eyes grew heavy and he found himself falling into a dreamless sleep. 

It was a shake of his bed and the sudden feeling of being poked that jerked him awake from his drunken slumber, hand quickly reaching for his gun and turning it to wherever he thought the intruder was. “Get outta my room.” He panted as his finger came to the trigger, fully prepared to shoot before he even woke up fully. 

The next second went by in a blur that left him feeling the need to puke everything he had drank the night before. Suddenly the gun was torn from his hand and the metal was pressed against his chestplate and there was a heavy weight across his body that prevented him from moving. As his vision finally cleared, he found himself facing down Hanzo.

“Do not put your finger on the trigger unless you are prepared to shoot.” Hanzo’s voice came out in a growl as he pressed the gun against Jesse. 

They locked eyes in what seemed to pass as an eternity. “Y’gonna shoot me or what?” He drawled out slowly. “‘Cause I ain’t got all day.” 

Hanzo climbed off of him and placed the gun on the bedside table, shaking his head some as he did. “Even if I wanted to, your gun is not loaded. If you are to keep a gun nearby while you sleep at least stock the chamber with a bullet, you fool.”

Jesse watched as Hanzo took in the disarray of his room and all the empty cans and bottles that were thrown around the night before. “You live in filth, McCree.” He sounded so annoyed and that only made Jesse even more mad at the entire situation. 

“So what? Y’ain’t my mom.”

“Perhaps I should be, especially considering that your room smells of cheap beer and so does your breath.”

Jesse tried to fling himself from his bed to punch Hanzo in the mouth, but he found himself doubling over as the world started to spin. Hanzo let out a sigh as he stared at the sorry state of the cowboy. “How much did you even drink last night?”

He shook his head some, careful not to make himself feel even more like he wanted to throw up. “Not much. Just a few drinks here and the--” Holding a hand against his mouth, Jesse shot up and ran into the bathroom that was connected to his room. He was quick to drop to his knees as he rushed inside, heaving into the toilet bowl, choking back sobs as he did so. All at once he felt like he was run over by a truck multiple times and he mentally cursed himself for drinking so much. 

Hanzo followed behind him, watching for a second in horror before coming up behind him and starting to rub his back to soothe him some. “You truly are an idiot…” 

When Jesse finally seemed to calm some, Hanzo helped him to his feet and waited nearby as he washed his mouth out. “Y’ain’t gotta stay. Ain’t exactly known for bein’ quality company when drunk.” He knew he sounded calmer than before ( hell, he felt it too ), but he didn’t know how much longer he could stomach seeing Hanzo in his room for… which begged the question.

“How did y’get in my room in the first place?”

Suddenly, he saw the other man’s face contort some. “I had come to see if you were still alive after someone had complained about you shouting. Your room was unlocked so I came in.” 

_ ‘Your room was unlocked...’ _

_ ‘...room was unlocked...’ _

_ ‘...was unlocked...’ _

He really could barely remember a thing of last night. He couldn’t even remember whether or not he had forgot to lock his door or if he had unlocked it at some point through whatever fit he went through. He stumbled out of the bathroom, pushing Hanzo some as he walked by. He wasn’t in the mood for chatting with him, especially considering how little they did get along. 

“Y’can get going if y’wanna. I’ll be quiet from now on so don’t gotta worry ‘bout people complainin’ or nothin’.”

Hanzo’s eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms defiantly. “As much as I want to leave, I don’t trust you won’t go on another binge, cowboy. We have briefings tomorrow and I would rather you not dead from alcohol poisoning,” He said emotionlessly. 

Truthfully, Jesse hated the idea of it, but after vomiting his dinner from the night before, he wasn’t too keen on starting any fights. “Fine, but sleep on the couch or somethin’. I don’t have any other place for ya.” He pointed at the small sofa behind the archer as he walked to his bed and immediately threw himself on it.

He heard Hanzo making himself comfortable and once all their shuffling stopped, he fumbled with his tablet until the lights turned completely off. It wasn’t long until he felt himself drifting off into a nausea-induced sleep.

______

Jesse awoke very early in the morning with a need for water. With a groan, he rolled himself out of bed and carefully made his way to the bathroom. Using the glass by his sink, he poured himself a glass and threw it back in one gulp. His eyes found the mirror and he recoiled when he saw the sorry state he was in. His hair was a complete mess and dark bags hung under his eyes like someone had just traded punches with him. 

“Y’look like a wreck, Jesse,” He said to himself as he tried to fix his hair some. From the bathroom, he could hear a quiet cry and a whimper. It was then that he remembered he wasn’t alone. He pushed the door open and looked to see if he had woken Hanzo up, but instead the lights from the bathroom illuminated his trembling body.

Quickly, he came out and stared at him from a few feet away. Another cry followed and mumbling in Japanese. Jesse was lots of things, but he wasn’t a novice when it came to nightmares. He has his fair share of them and knows that the one Hanzo was going through didn’t look nice. 

Taking a few steps closer, he reached forward and ran his hand across Hanzo’s face. That made the other man move slightly and groan. “Shhh…,” Jesse said softly. Another touch came but now he ran a few fingers through his hair. The whimpers quieted some and before he knew it, Hanzo had shot up with a near scream. 

It caught Jesse somewhat off guard before he put a hand on his shoulder, careful not to touch him too much. “Yer alright,” His voice came out as genuine. “Ain’t nothin gonna get y’here.”

Hanzo’s breathing went from hasty heaving to calm as a few minutes passed of Jesse desperately doing his best to keep him from having a panic attack. “I...I apologize for you having to see that,” Hanzo said with a touch of color on his cheeks and ears. 

“Ain’t nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout. I don’t think either of us are to be messed with when we first wake up, huh?” The joke was able to pull a weak smile from him. It wasn’t much, but it was something and that was the only thing he could be thankful for right now. 

Jesse walked away from him for a minute to pour him some water, coming back with it and watching as he took it only to take the smallest sip. “Thank you, McCree. Perhaps I have overstayed my welcome in your room for today.” He started to stand. “I should leave to allow you more sleep.” He was stopped dead in his tracks when a hand came to the center of his chest and pushed him back, almost spilling the water in the process.

“Look here, it’s 4 in the morning and as much as I want to sleep, I don’t think I could if I knew I threw y’out.”

“You’re not throwing me out.”

“Sure as hell feels that way,” Jesse said with a glare. Nevertheless, his face only stayed hard for a moment before it softened. “I don’t wanna force y’or nothin’, but I know when I get a nightmare that it feels better to not be alone. Y’don’t gotta talk ‘bout it with me, though.”

Hanzo’s brow furrowed together as if in deep thought about the proposal. “If it is alright with you then, yes, I wouldn’t mind staying until morning.” That brought a smile to Jesse’s face as he thanked whatever god was out there that he hadn’t just made himself even more of an idiot to his partner. 

“‘S already mornin’. Better stop our chattin’ and get to sleepin’ or else we might not look too good for briefing today,” Jesse said with a smirk as a glint of mischievousness sparkled in his eyes. “Now, y’know what would help?” Hanzo tilted his head slightly-- a que to continue. “Always been told my cuddlin’ can chase any bad dreams away. Y’wanna test that?” It was clearly a tease to lighten to mood, but when it received a howl of laughter, he didn’t quite know if he was kidding anymore.

“A nice request, but sadly, you’re not my type,  _ cowboy _ .” He couldn’t mistake the faint hint of flirting in his voice, though he knew it was only in response to his.

He put on his best pout, cocking his hip to the side. “Ain’t yer type? I’m everyone’s type! Daring, handsome, mysterious. Y’would be lucky to have me!” 

That pulled another laugh from the archer. “I don’t know where you got the idea that you’re mysterious, because I have more intrigue in my pinky than you do in your entire cowboy costume.” Jesse had to admit, as much as Hanzo annoyed him, he did feel almost relieved whenever they were able to trade playful jabs.

“Now really, I can be mysterious when I choose to be!” He put a hand against his chest in mock shock. “Maybe I should send y’packin’ after all these mean things yer sayin’ to me.”

A roll of his eyes and Hanzo laid back down, turning his back to Jesse. “You cannot take back the invitation. Now, go to sleep.” He could still hear a certain playfulness that was uncharacteristic of the Shimada. 

“Right, right, I’m going, prince.” Jesse walked back to his bed and flopped on it, burying himself under the covers as he did so. He didn't want to say that he couldn't sleep the rest of the night, because when Hanzo woke up that same morning and asked him how he had slept, the small smile that came with the question was more than enough for him to ease into his own smile and answer that he had slept just fine.  

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! feel free to leave a comment or a kudos! they are the water for my poor writer soul <3


End file.
